Friday: Slow Cooker Pork Shoulder with Homemade Low-FODMAP Taco Seasoning

No onions, no garlic, no problem. In accordance with my husband's new low-FODMAP mandate from his doctor, I tried my hand at a low-FODMAP variation of my usual pork shoulder taco recipe. Basically this means ditching the beans and storebought salsa and taco seasoning. This one turned out pretty tasty, though next time I might have a heavier hand with the spices.

Ingredients:

Frozen pork shoulder from Whole Foods (they cut off the skin! woohoo!)
1 16 oz can diced tomatoes, no sodium
1/2 cup frozen corn
1/2 grated fresh carrot, for sweetness
Lime juice to taste

Homemade low-FODMAP taco seasoning:

2 teaspoons oregano
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Pinch cayenne pepper

Pour diced tomatoes into crockpot and lay pork shoulder on top. Surround with frozen corn and add spices and carrot. Since my pork shoulder was frozen and I want to eat it tonight, I put it straight into the crockpot and set it on high, then switched to low after 6 hours for 10 hours total.

Serve with corn tortillas, shredded pepperjack or cheddar cheese, lime, and fresh chopped cilantro. Add avocado or sour cream if your gut can tolerate FODMAPs. 

Pork Bone and Carrot Soup & Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Remember that children's story "Stone Soup?" Basically it's the culinary version of Tom Sawyer and the white picket fence. Clever hero boils water, adds stone; intrigued neighbors contribute ingredients to flavor the stone soup; stone soup is the best thing everyone's ever tasted, etc etc. This recipe is that, only with a leftover pork shoulder bone from when I made pulled pork over the weekend.

So, iPhone in hand, I get off the subway and tear through the fancy supermarket on the way home like a tornado. What goes with pork bone? Carrot? Carrot and ginger, sure, that's great! But what about lentils? Then I spotted a packet of Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix and it was all over.

Seems easy. I'll just substitute half the ingredients and quadruple the measurements & cooking time.

 Bob is a real person. I saw him speak at a conference once, and he and his company are awesome. Having the CEO and founder market the company through talks at tech conferences is a pretty inefficient way to get people talking about your product... but it worked on me, so there you go.

Anyhow, so I left the fancy grocery having dropped $20 on carrots, celery, ginger, the soup mix, chips, soy sauce, and some hamburger rolls for pulled pork sandwiches. Not the most value for our money, I guess...

I ran home and started throwing things in the crockpot per Bob's instructions. Bob's recipe was for four cups of liquid to one cup of soup mix. My monster crock laughs at such piddling portions, and so I did this:

16 cups water
4 cups Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix (for FODMAP free version, skip this part/find an alternative! Rice or rice noodles, perhaps?)
5 carrots, chopped and peeled
5 sticks celery, chopped and peeled
1 leftover pork shoulder
1 teaspoon salt
1 bay leaf

I turned it on low and set the timer for ten hours. Instant dinner for tomorrow.

Then I made our dinner, which was fairly easy.

Yay.

The next day, I woke up to discover that the soup was not looking so awesome. In fact, it more resembled sludge, or someone's breakfast after they're done with it.

Good... morning?

This is because Bob's Red Mill mix contains pasta, and you should not cook pasta for ten hours. Lesson learned.

It tastes inoffensive, which for the low low cost and high resourcefulness (and health factor, if you're ok on pulses) is not an insupportable outcome.

The next night we ate even more pulled pork sandwiches and salad, from the same ingredients I bought last weekend. And they were delicious.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 30 min. Peeling, chopping, measuring, etc.
Servings: 6-8. But will you want them?
Agony rating: 3/10. Peeling and chopping veggies takes time.
Taste and stuff: 3/10. Blech. Added salt and white wine vinegar to increase palatability.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

For soup:
Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix: $5.99
Celery bunch:$1.99
Carrot 2.7 lbs at $0.99/lb: $2.70
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $10.68
Cost per serving: $1.78 for 6 servings; $1.33 for 8.

VERDICT: MEH. Next time, I won't overcook.


For sandwiches:
8 hamburger rolls: $3.49
Leftover pulled pork: $2.20 per serving, approx
Cost per serving: $2.64

VERDICT: HELL YES. Just needs pickles.

Crockpot Pork Shoulder Tacos (with Black Bean and Corn Salsa)

This isn't a healthy meal. Pork shoulder is full of unhealthy meat fat. And black beans, onions, corn are good for some folks, but not good for others--especially if you're avoiding FODMAP foods. This meal scores well on the agony scale--it's super easy to prepare--and if you break it down per serving, it's pretty affordable, too. It can be made FODMAP-friendly if you use diced tomatoes instead of salsa, skip the black beans, and DIY the taco seasoning without onion and garlic powder.

Added bonus: you will run out of tortillas before you run out of pork, and leftovers can be scrambled with eggs ("huevos porquerias?") or served on a hamburger bun as a pulled pork sandwich especial.

Ready? Better grocery up.

Ingredients:

One pork shoulder
1.5-2 jars salsa
1 can black beans
1 can corn
1 packet taco seasoning
Shredded cheese
Soft corn tortillas

It's barely even cooking.

The worst/hardest thing about this recipe is preparing the pork shoulder. Use a sharp knife and get that skin off. Quickly and without too much introspection, slice off as much fat as you can. Toss the whole mess in a plastic bag and toss that in a plastic bag and throw it in the trash. (The stronger-stomached and more adventurous can save the skin and try making homemade pork rinds.)

Put in slow cooker, and add the beans, salsa, and corn. Sprinkle some taco seasoning on top.

Don't judge yet.

Cover and cook on low for 15 hours or until the pork falls off the bone. I did this wrong, so it ended up being like 24 hours.

When your dog has been sufficiently tortured by the smell of slow-cooking pig product, remove the pork shoulder from the crock pot, and put it in a bowl. Use a fork to pull the pork meat off the bone. Save the bone for later.

We don't hide anything here.

Final product, sans bone.

At this point, I spooned out about 1/4 cup of liquid - fat and juice. Too much water will ruin a good taco, and it really is a lot of pork fat. Urk.

When you're ready to eat, heat up your tortillas in the oven for five minutes and sprinkle with cheese. Add avocado, guacamole, tomato, pico, hot sauce, lettuce, anything you have handy that would be nice in a taco. Spoon pork on top and enjoy.

Ay, que boniiiiito.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 10 min plus eternity and a day to cook.
Servings: 6-8 *plus leftover pork/bean/corn/salsa mix
Agony rating: 3/10. Slicing the skin and fat off the pork shoulder is not a task for the faint of heart (or those without sharp knives.) But besides that, you just need a can opener and lots of patience. Only cleanup is the slow cooker, cutting board, and knife, and any plates you use to serve the tacos on.
Taste and stuff: 6/10. Sokay. Add hot sauce next time. And probably more artery-clogging than nutrient-bearing.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

1 bag Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican Blend $2.50
2x 16 oz Newman's Own Salsa Medium $5.98
15 oz can corn $1.50
15 oz can black beans $1.50
Mission yellow corn tortillas, 24-pack $1.99
Pork shoulder half $8.54
Old El Paso Taco Seasoning Mix $1.19
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $23.20
Cost per serving: $3.87 for 6 servings; $2.90 for 8


VERDICT: SUCCESS?