The Super Salad

BEHOLD. The Super Salad.

It contains all things good and delicious:

Spinach

Bacon

Hardboiled eggs

Avocado

Tomato

Carrot

Celery

Kalamata olives

Olive oil

Vinegar

It is the world's best and easiest-to-make dinner, if you make the bacon and eggs ahead of time. 

EVEN BETTER with pepitas, parsley, peppers, and broccoli--but that's the beauty of the super salad. 

No Onions, No Garlic: Comforting Crockpot Beef Chili

Ingredients and prices:

2 lbs of organic ground beef at Whole Foods. $16! :( this had better serve a goddamn village when I'm done.
28 oz can crushed tomatoes ($1.99)
16 oz can organic diced tomatoes, sodium-free ($2.99)
1 chopped red bell pepper
1 chopped green bell pepper
2 zucchini, grated
1 16 oz bag dried kidney beans, hot soaked
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
3 tsp oregano
4 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder

My last chili recipe used twice the spices and no sugar, and had paprika. I omitted paprika because I found some kind of insect nesting in my paprika I bought from Kalustyan's ew ew ew ew. To do: find spice jars.

The beef was frozen, so I put it in the slow cooker first on high and added the crushed tomatoes for a couple of hours.

Once it was tender enough to be broken into pieces, I added the vegetables and spices.

After about an hour I added the hot soaked kidney beans. (Note: Beans are very high FODMAP foods. Omit if to reduce FODMAPs.)

Then I cooked on low for another three hours. Truth be told, it could have used more time to soften up the beans... or I could have just used canned beans. But overall, it turned out great.

Serving suggestions: in a bowl with cheese and tortilla chips; in a taco with avocado and cheese; on a baked sweet potato (pictured above) with cheese; on a hot dog!

Monday: Low FODMAP Crockpot Turkey Chili

There's nothing better than curling up with a bowl of hot chili on a brisk November day. But what to do if you're trying to avoid beans, onions, and garlic--ie the basic building blocks of chili? Turns out, it *is* possible, with a little creativity and elbow grease, to make low-FODMAP chili. (The secret's in the cumin and oregano...) I cobbled this recipe together from a mishmash of recipes I found online. You can easily substitute ground pork or beef for the turkey, or add other low-FODMAP veggies like squash. I'm definitely planning on making this again soon!

Ingredients:

2 lbs ground turkey (leg meat)
1 red bell pepper, finely chopped
1 green bell pepper, finely chopped
2 zucchini, finely chopped
1 carrot, grated
1 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
1 16 oz. can low-sodium diced tomatoes
1 tsp salt
4 teaspoons paprika
7 teaspoons oregano
8 teaspoons cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (more if you like it spicy)
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon unsweetened cocoa

1. Brown turkey in a saucepan with a tablespoon of a neutral-tasting oil, like canola.
2. Chop and grate vegetables and add to crockpot. Measure out spices and add. Open cans of tomato stuff and add. Stir.
3. Scoop browned turkey onto the vegetable mix. Cook in the slow cooker on low for 8 hours.
4. Serve in a bowl with shredded cheese, cilantro, sour cream and avocado if you tolerate them.

This came out really lovely, maybe a little intense on the spices, but the cumin and oregano completely compensate for the lack of FODMAP foods like onion and garlic.

I used 1.2 lbs of ground turkey and was disappointed when this only made about half a crockpot's worth of chili. Kind of a waste. Next time I'm adding more turkey and veggies, with the same amount of spices. 

Thursday: Fall Vegetable Stew with Beef

This morning I took the butternut squash out of the crockpot and let it cool off. 

I had a bunch of vegetables left over from previous recipes and some carrots and kale from the farmers market. So last night I prepped all the vegetables and stuck them in the fridge. This morning I mixed all the ingredients and set the crockpot for 6 hours on low.

Ingredients:

Cooked beef from making beef stock
2 zucchini, sliced in rounds
1 bunch of carrots from the farmer's market, sliced in rounds
1/2 head broccoli, chopped
2 red potatoes, quartered
1 bunch elephant kale from farmer's market, chopped
1 bunch fresh sage, parsley, and thyme
1 16 oz can unsalted diced tomatoes
1/2 cup frozen corn
4 cups beef broth 

Remove the herbs, and serve with parmesan cheese, salt and pepper.

Voila! Beef stew.

For dessert we had the butternut squash with butter, sugar, cinnamon, and sea salt. Yum!

FODMAP Free Sunday

This weekend I got busy in the kitchen making FODMAP-free foods for the fam.

#1: Whole Chicken Chicken Stock (adapted from here)

Ingredients:

Organic whole chicken including giblets
Handful fresh parsley from farmers market
3 stalks sad little celery from farmers market
2 bay leaves
2 tbsp rice wine vinegar
1/2 carrot from the farmers market

Put it all in the crockpot with a buncha water and set to 20 hours on low. Results TBD. I'll take the cooked chicken out tomorrow and use for salads/sandwiches.

#2: Chicken Broccoli Cheese Bake (adapted from here)

Ingredients:

1 cup brown rice
Organic chicken cutlets
Olive oil
1/2 head broccoli
Parmesan cheese
Cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper

Cook rice, cook chicken in dutch oven. Steam broccoli. Mix it all together and bake for 15 min. Went over well. But will it reheat? Probably four servings.

#3 FODMAP Friendly Pumpkin Bread (adapted from here)

Ingredients:

1 cup canola oil
2 cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups canned pumpkin
2/3 cup water
3 1/3 cups quinoa flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice (cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, clove)
1 1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Mix oil, sugar, eggs, pumpkin, and water; add flour, bp, bs, salt, pumpkin pie spice and vanilla; stir a little. Preheat oven to 350. For muffins, bake for 35 min. For bread, 50 min. These were DELICIOUS. Half the muffins are already gone. Probably all that sugar + oil! {NOTE: The bread was a little squishy near the middle. Might need to bake it longer at a lower temperature.}

#4 Fall Beef Stew (adapted from here)

Ingredients:

1 lb organic beef chunks
1/2 cup or so of quinoa flour
salt and pepper
olive oil
1 16 oz can salt-free diced tomatoes
2 carrots from the farmers market
5 turnips from the farmers market
5 red potatoes from the farmers market
1 tiny celery stalk chopped up real small
1 tbsp chopped parsley
1 2/3 cups water
1/3 cup dry red wine
1 tsp thyme

Coat beef chunks in flour, salt and pepper; brown. Add liquids and stir in the rest of the flour; add veggies and spices; bring to a boil and pop in the oven for an hour and a half at 350 degrees.

The beef was really tough, there were too many turnips, and while the carrots and potatoes were perfect consistency the turnips were very soft. But the flavor of the sauce was great. Wish I had beef stock and more wine on hand. Makes roughly four to six servings.

#5 Poor Woman's Pesto-like Power Spread

Is there such thing as a FODMAP-free garlic/pesto substitute? I made this one up. It's pungent and thrifty, but who knows if it will actually get eaten.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups turnip greens, celery leaves, parsley, broccoli
Olive oil
Lemon juice
Salt
Pepper
Parmesan cheese
Balsamic vinegar

Boil water. Dip greens into the water for 30 seconds. Blend in blender. Add olive oil, lemon juice, salt, pepper,  splash of balsamic vinegar, and parmesan cheese to taste/consistency. Apparently this is very nutritious, if somewhat overpowering, and I probably should have cooked the turnip greens. Will try on pasta or crackers (?) Maybe a sandwich spread? Next time add kale, spinach, basil. Call it Soylent...

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: I spent about four hours preparing everything, but that includes chatting with a friend and doing all the dishes.
Servings: Hard to tell; probably 4 each of the entrees.
Agony rating: 7/10. Peeling and chopping; browning meat; measuring ingredients for pumpkin bread; ay ay ay.
Taste and stuff: So far, so good!

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

I tossed the receipt, and bought many other things at the grocery, but the cost of all this food probably came in around $70-$80. That includes the fancy organic meat and the organic farmer's market vegetables and eggs. So overall this will probably come in around $6-$8 a serving once I use all the chicken in the slow cooker, which while not stupendous is certainly doable.

VERDICT: A day well spent. We will have breakfast and dinner for almost a full workweek. SUCCESS.

Crockpot Chicken Sausage Stew with Peppers, Potatoes, and Mushrooms

So this meal was kind of a fiasco. I made it like a week ago and just got crazed the whole time. Inspiration for this one comes from Stephanie O'Dea's A Year of Slow Cooking, which is an excellent blog that you should read.

OK. Start by going to the grocery on Sunday. Or sending someone else to go. Acquire the following:

Two 6-packs of healthy chicken sausage
Two regular old potatoes
Two green peppers
Two red peppers
One carton mushrooms
*One carrot (Leftover from another recipe)
*Two sticks celery (Leftover from another recipe)
Optional & not pictured: Onions, broccoli, salad greens on the verge

Here's where it started to go wrong.

Chop vegetables into hearty chunks. BUT: Don't do it the way I did it, which was to start with the celery and peppers and then do carrots and potatoes last.

Not like this!

I tossed them in olive oil and, it being a Sunday night, stuck the whole thing in the fridge so that the cooking could commence Monday morning.

Then I woke up on Monday, looked at the recipe again, and realized that I was supposed to layer the vegetables in order of density. Because this is how slow cookers work. So I picked out all the peppers and mushrooms and celery and put them in a bowl. Remember, they are still covered in oil.

First this.

THEN add these.

Then I sliced up the sausage, threw it on top, turned the thing on low for six hours and ran to work.

Four hours later, I realized that I forgot to add any liquid to the mix. (The original recipe calls for a few cups of wine or water.) I indulged a few fantasies about my house burning down and/or my dog being driven insane by the smell of scorched chicken sausage... but thankfully, that's not how slow cookers work.

I got home and dinner was more or less ready.

Before.

After.

Better yet, the veggies had so much liquid in them that they provided a cup of juice. Crazy.

I served this over rice, with salt and hot sauce. It was filling but unremarkable.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 30 min. Peeling, chopping, fretting, re-sorting, rice cooking, etc.
Servings: 6.
Agony rating: 3/10. Peeling and chopping veggies takes time.
Taste and stuff: 6/10. Not bad.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

Oh yeah, I also lost the receipt. So here is a guesstimate based on past prices/prices on label.
Chicken sausages: $6.99 ea x 2 = $13.98
Peppers: $3?
Potatoes: $2?
Mushrooms: $1.50
Celery, carrot: acquired earlier
Rice: $1?
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special:~$22?
Cost per serving: $3.67. Maybe.

VERDICT: SUCCESS. Add hot sauce.

Pork Bone and Carrot Soup & Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Remember that children's story "Stone Soup?" Basically it's the culinary version of Tom Sawyer and the white picket fence. Clever hero boils water, adds stone; intrigued neighbors contribute ingredients to flavor the stone soup; stone soup is the best thing everyone's ever tasted, etc etc. This recipe is that, only with a leftover pork shoulder bone from when I made pulled pork over the weekend.

So, iPhone in hand, I get off the subway and tear through the fancy supermarket on the way home like a tornado. What goes with pork bone? Carrot? Carrot and ginger, sure, that's great! But what about lentils? Then I spotted a packet of Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix and it was all over.

Seems easy. I'll just substitute half the ingredients and quadruple the measurements & cooking time.

 Bob is a real person. I saw him speak at a conference once, and he and his company are awesome. Having the CEO and founder market the company through talks at tech conferences is a pretty inefficient way to get people talking about your product... but it worked on me, so there you go.

Anyhow, so I left the fancy grocery having dropped $20 on carrots, celery, ginger, the soup mix, chips, soy sauce, and some hamburger rolls for pulled pork sandwiches. Not the most value for our money, I guess...

I ran home and started throwing things in the crockpot per Bob's instructions. Bob's recipe was for four cups of liquid to one cup of soup mix. My monster crock laughs at such piddling portions, and so I did this:

16 cups water
4 cups Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix (for FODMAP free version, skip this part/find an alternative! Rice or rice noodles, perhaps?)
5 carrots, chopped and peeled
5 sticks celery, chopped and peeled
1 leftover pork shoulder
1 teaspoon salt
1 bay leaf

I turned it on low and set the timer for ten hours. Instant dinner for tomorrow.

Then I made our dinner, which was fairly easy.

Yay.

The next day, I woke up to discover that the soup was not looking so awesome. In fact, it more resembled sludge, or someone's breakfast after they're done with it.

Good... morning?

This is because Bob's Red Mill mix contains pasta, and you should not cook pasta for ten hours. Lesson learned.

It tastes inoffensive, which for the low low cost and high resourcefulness (and health factor, if you're ok on pulses) is not an insupportable outcome.

The next night we ate even more pulled pork sandwiches and salad, from the same ingredients I bought last weekend. And they were delicious.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 30 min. Peeling, chopping, measuring, etc.
Servings: 6-8. But will you want them?
Agony rating: 3/10. Peeling and chopping veggies takes time.
Taste and stuff: 3/10. Blech. Added salt and white wine vinegar to increase palatability.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

For soup:
Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix: $5.99
Celery bunch:$1.99
Carrot 2.7 lbs at $0.99/lb: $2.70
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $10.68
Cost per serving: $1.78 for 6 servings; $1.33 for 8.

VERDICT: MEH. Next time, I won't overcook.


For sandwiches:
8 hamburger rolls: $3.49
Leftover pulled pork: $2.20 per serving, approx
Cost per serving: $2.64

VERDICT: HELL YES. Just needs pickles.