Pork Bone and Carrot Soup & Pulled Pork Sandwiches

Remember that children's story "Stone Soup?" Basically it's the culinary version of Tom Sawyer and the white picket fence. Clever hero boils water, adds stone; intrigued neighbors contribute ingredients to flavor the stone soup; stone soup is the best thing everyone's ever tasted, etc etc. This recipe is that, only with a leftover pork shoulder bone from when I made pulled pork over the weekend.

So, iPhone in hand, I get off the subway and tear through the fancy supermarket on the way home like a tornado. What goes with pork bone? Carrot? Carrot and ginger, sure, that's great! But what about lentils? Then I spotted a packet of Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix and it was all over.

Seems easy. I'll just substitute half the ingredients and quadruple the measurements & cooking time.

 Bob is a real person. I saw him speak at a conference once, and he and his company are awesome. Having the CEO and founder market the company through talks at tech conferences is a pretty inefficient way to get people talking about your product... but it worked on me, so there you go.

Anyhow, so I left the fancy grocery having dropped $20 on carrots, celery, ginger, the soup mix, chips, soy sauce, and some hamburger rolls for pulled pork sandwiches. Not the most value for our money, I guess...

I ran home and started throwing things in the crockpot per Bob's instructions. Bob's recipe was for four cups of liquid to one cup of soup mix. My monster crock laughs at such piddling portions, and so I did this:

16 cups water
4 cups Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix (for FODMAP free version, skip this part/find an alternative! Rice or rice noodles, perhaps?)
5 carrots, chopped and peeled
5 sticks celery, chopped and peeled
1 leftover pork shoulder
1 teaspoon salt
1 bay leaf

I turned it on low and set the timer for ten hours. Instant dinner for tomorrow.

Then I made our dinner, which was fairly easy.

Yay.

The next day, I woke up to discover that the soup was not looking so awesome. In fact, it more resembled sludge, or someone's breakfast after they're done with it.

Good... morning?

This is because Bob's Red Mill mix contains pasta, and you should not cook pasta for ten hours. Lesson learned.

It tastes inoffensive, which for the low low cost and high resourcefulness (and health factor, if you're ok on pulses) is not an insupportable outcome.

The next night we ate even more pulled pork sandwiches and salad, from the same ingredients I bought last weekend. And they were delicious.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 30 min. Peeling, chopping, measuring, etc.
Servings: 6-8. But will you want them?
Agony rating: 3/10. Peeling and chopping veggies takes time.
Taste and stuff: 3/10. Blech. Added salt and white wine vinegar to increase palatability.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

For soup:
Bob's Red Mill Vegi Soup Mix: $5.99
Celery bunch:$1.99
Carrot 2.7 lbs at $0.99/lb: $2.70
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $10.68
Cost per serving: $1.78 for 6 servings; $1.33 for 8.

VERDICT: MEH. Next time, I won't overcook.


For sandwiches:
8 hamburger rolls: $3.49
Leftover pulled pork: $2.20 per serving, approx
Cost per serving: $2.64

VERDICT: HELL YES. Just needs pickles.

Crockpot Pork Shoulder Tacos (with Black Bean and Corn Salsa)

This isn't a healthy meal. Pork shoulder is full of unhealthy meat fat. And black beans, onions, corn are good for some folks, but not good for others--especially if you're avoiding FODMAP foods. This meal scores well on the agony scale--it's super easy to prepare--and if you break it down per serving, it's pretty affordable, too. It can be made FODMAP-friendly if you use diced tomatoes instead of salsa, skip the black beans, and DIY the taco seasoning without onion and garlic powder.

Added bonus: you will run out of tortillas before you run out of pork, and leftovers can be scrambled with eggs ("huevos porquerias?") or served on a hamburger bun as a pulled pork sandwich especial.

Ready? Better grocery up.

Ingredients:

One pork shoulder
1.5-2 jars salsa
1 can black beans
1 can corn
1 packet taco seasoning
Shredded cheese
Soft corn tortillas

It's barely even cooking.

The worst/hardest thing about this recipe is preparing the pork shoulder. Use a sharp knife and get that skin off. Quickly and without too much introspection, slice off as much fat as you can. Toss the whole mess in a plastic bag and toss that in a plastic bag and throw it in the trash. (The stronger-stomached and more adventurous can save the skin and try making homemade pork rinds.)

Put in slow cooker, and add the beans, salsa, and corn. Sprinkle some taco seasoning on top.

Don't judge yet.

Cover and cook on low for 15 hours or until the pork falls off the bone. I did this wrong, so it ended up being like 24 hours.

When your dog has been sufficiently tortured by the smell of slow-cooking pig product, remove the pork shoulder from the crock pot, and put it in a bowl. Use a fork to pull the pork meat off the bone. Save the bone for later.

We don't hide anything here.

Final product, sans bone.

At this point, I spooned out about 1/4 cup of liquid - fat and juice. Too much water will ruin a good taco, and it really is a lot of pork fat. Urk.

When you're ready to eat, heat up your tortillas in the oven for five minutes and sprinkle with cheese. Add avocado, guacamole, tomato, pico, hot sauce, lettuce, anything you have handy that would be nice in a taco. Spoon pork on top and enjoy.

Ay, que boniiiiito.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 10 min plus eternity and a day to cook.
Servings: 6-8 *plus leftover pork/bean/corn/salsa mix
Agony rating: 3/10. Slicing the skin and fat off the pork shoulder is not a task for the faint of heart (or those without sharp knives.) But besides that, you just need a can opener and lots of patience. Only cleanup is the slow cooker, cutting board, and knife, and any plates you use to serve the tacos on.
Taste and stuff: 6/10. Sokay. Add hot sauce next time. And probably more artery-clogging than nutrient-bearing.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

1 bag Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican Blend $2.50
2x 16 oz Newman's Own Salsa Medium $5.98
15 oz can corn $1.50
15 oz can black beans $1.50
Mission yellow corn tortillas, 24-pack $1.99
Pork shoulder half $8.54
Old El Paso Taco Seasoning Mix $1.19
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $23.20
Cost per serving: $3.87 for 6 servings; $2.90 for 8


VERDICT: SUCCESS?

Fast Baked Salmon with Spinach Salad and Sweet Potatoes

Today was one of those crazy days where I had to really hustle to get a cooked meal on the table by 8. I had promised to do a live webcast with a group of students at 7 from home, so I left work at 5:30 on the nose, ran to the grocery and grabbed two fine-looking salmon steaks and two lemons, and was home by 6:20. Thankfully this thing took only fifteen minutes to prep, and so all I had to do was pop it in the oven and tell husband to take it out when the timer went off.

We still have a lot of sweet potatoes left over from Monday, so I decided to add those as a side dish. Add a tiny spinach salad, and this dish is near perfect!

I used my Dutch oven - one dish, easy to clean, makes food taste good.

Love you, Le Creuset.

Ingredients:

2 or however many salmon steaks you want
1/4 lemon per salmon steak
Pepper
Salt
Olive oil
Dried rosemary

Preheat oven to 400 F. Coat the bottom of your Dutch oven with olive oil. Throw in salmon steaks. Cover with salt and pepper, rosemary, and thin slices of lemon and lemon juice.

Hello, my lovelies.

 Then cover and set the timer for 20 minutes.

While that business is happening, prep your plates with the salad. I used spinach, tomato, and canned artichokes. We buy prewashed salad greens and two or three tomatoes every week, and I always keep croutons and olive oil in the house, so this wasn't anything that needed much planning. The artichokes were a find--I bought them a few weeks ago for some unknown purpose and tucked them in the back of the fridge. Obviously skip these if you are low FODMAP.

Top with a generous pour of olive oil followed by a drizzle of balsamic vinegar. Add some croutons (skip if you're not eating wheat/gluten) if you have them right before serving.

I used my last three minutes to stick the leftover sweet potatoes into a pie tin and added them to the oven, next to the salmon. Then I ran to the bedroom, where I did the webcast.

At 7:55, I emerged and was greeted by a finished but slightly lukewarm feast. Just look at all those colorful antioxidants!

One of these days I'll figure out how to take a less blurry photo.

So, how did I do?

Overall, I was really happy with this meal. And it performs well according to 4 out of 5 of my rules:

1. The rule of waste. Awesome. You buy a salmon steak, you eat the salmon steak. Plus I got to use leftovers. And I will definitely find a use for the spinach, artichokes, lemon and tomato I didn't use.

2. The rule of cost. Not so good. Salmon is expensive.

3. The rule of time. Killed it. Fifteen minutes of prep, twenty minutes of (passive chef) cooking, and quick cleanup.

4. The rule of health. Awesome. Salmon = protein, omega 3s; you've got your dark leafy greens in both the salad and the side dish; some good beta carotene and vitamin C in the other veggies and lemon juice; and decent amount of non-grain fiber.  Plus, the meal is low in FODMAPs, lower if you omit the artichokes and mushrooms.

5. The rule of Cartman? We always follow the rule of Cartman in this house. 


FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 15 min
Servings: 2
Agony rating: 2/10. So easy! Tomatoes and lemon needed slicing, and the jar of artichokes took a while to pry open. But the only cleanup was a cutting board, a knife, two plates, two forks, a serving spoon, the pie tin for the sweet potatoes and the Dutch oven.
Taste and stuff: 8/10. Husband loved it. I thought the salmon could have used more salt and lemon.

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*


Spinach: $3.99 for a 5 oz tub; I used about 2 oz., so $2
Lemons: 2 for $1.20; I used 1/2, so $0.30
Salmon steaks: $11.79
Artichokes: $2.19 a jar; I used 1/3; so $0.73
Tomato: Guessing here, but let's say it was $.50 worth of tomato
Croutons, olive oil, vinegar, rosemary, salt, pepper: pantry staples, already bought
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $15.32
Cost per serving: $7.66


VERDICT: SUCCESS.

Crockpot Chicken and Sweet Potato Stew

It's January! Bitterly cold and perfect time for some hearty, healthy stew. The first food experiment: crockpot chicken and sweet potato stew, with mushrooms and salad greens. 

My gorgeous, blurry, messy melange of cost-effective nutrition conveyances.

I adapted this recipe from Eating Well. But since I am the worst chef ever, I did not make it the way they prescribed. First of all, no wine and no fresh rosemary. They both violate rule #1 of being the worst chef ever: the rule of waste. If a recipe calls for an ingredient that you can only buy in a quantity larger than what you'll use, and that ingredient will spoil if you don't use all of it, and you probably won't use the rest of it anyways, then find another ingredient. Two sprigs of rosemary? The grocery only sells packets of six and it's January so my herb garden is yielding zilch. One cup of wine? I'm not drinking much these days and wine only lasts so long.

Second, I eliminated the shallots and garlic because they're high in FODMAPs. But I kept the mushrooms. You can skip them.

Third, I have a bucket of salad greens a few days past their prime--perfect for the slow cooker.

So, let's review the ingredients. All measurements are approximate:

5-6 bone-in chicken thighs, trimmed of skin and fat (about 2 lbs)
6 sweet potatoes (about 3 lbs)
1 carton white mushrooms (mine was 8 oz but you can add more)
1 5 oz carton slightly foxed salad greens ("Organic Girl's 50/50 Spring Mix.")
1 tsp dried rosemary
3/4 c water
1 1/2 tbsp white wine vinegar (A surprisingly useful thing to have lying around.)
1 tbsp olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste

First, peel potatoes and rinse.

Then throw them into your slow cooker with some salt and oil. Toss with your hands til they are nice and coated.
 

Wash your mushrooms, slice, throw into slow cooker. Add some pepper and rosemary and stuff.

The next step is definitely skippable if you are feeling direly lazy, but today I had some free time, so I did what you're supposed to and browned the chicken legs before throwing them into the crockpot:

Yuck.

Yum.

All together now. Put the chicken into the crockpot on top of the mushrooms. Add more rosemary and salt and pepper. Throw some white wine vinegar and water in there.

 Cover and set the timer for six hours on low.

Or something.

About one or one and a half hours before you're ready to eat, throw in the salad greens. Mix the whole thing up. Don't worry, your food is probably cooked already. And what's the point of browning the chicken if it wasn't to kill all the germs?

 Put the lid back on and walk away. Come back when it's ready, and serve. There's a lot of liquid, so you might want to go for a soup plate. But if you want to discard that delicious broth, be my guest.

Well, at least it's colorful.

If you don't like the way it tastes, add more white wine vinegar or salt or pepper or whatever.

FACTS AND FIGURES
 
Prep time: 30 min
Servings: 4 or 5
Agony rating: 4/10. Potatoes need peeling, veggies need chopping, chicken needs defatting, and the browning added ten minutes to prep time and an extra dish to wash. Plus there was an extra step with the salad greens etc.
Taste and stuff: 7/10. I wasn't blown away, but it was kind of tangy in an interesting way, and I feel good two hours later. 

*COSTS OF STUFF I HAD TO BUY SPECIAL*

8 oz mushrooms $1.50
1 tub salad greens $3.99
6 sweet potatoes $2.31
5 chicken thighs $4.19
Olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, dried rosemary: pantry staples, already bought
Total cost of stuff I had to buy special: $11.99
Cost per serving: $3 even for 4 servings. Less if you stretch it out.

VERDICT: SUCCESS.

Welcome!

First off, welcome to the blog and thanks for stopping by.

I have a slow cooker, access to an affordable but limited local grocery and a decent farmer's market, an aversion to hard work and details, and a raft of food allergies and intolerances, including nuts, beer, onions, and pasta. So I decided to start this blog as a platform to take notes, learn stuff, and hopefully help out others in the same boat.

Here are my general guidelines when it comes to mealmaking:

1. The rule of waste. I try not to buy anything if I'm not going to use all of it. Recipes that call for a quarter cup of something that's only sold in quarts are a problem when I can't find a use for the rest of the quart.

2. The rule of cost. Buy what's in season or what's generic and build meals around cheap staples (rice, rice, rice.) I enjoy making use of stuff that's about to go bad or been sitting in the pantry for a while, partly because I'm cheap but also because I get to pretend I'm a Boxcar Child or living in a zombie apocalypse or something.

3. The rule of time. Time is precious. Make big meals ahead of time to have dinner for several nights in a row. Use the slow cooker on a timer, so dinner is ready by the time you get home. Minimize the number of dirty dishes created, because it takes time to wash those, too. And everyone gets grumpy when dinner isn't served til 9:30.

4. The rule of health. Eat positively. Food is a better nutrient delivery system than anything you can buy at GNC. Bonus points for plant-based oils, omega 3s, antioxidants, lean protein, etc. Try to buy organic meat and avoid FODMAPs.

5. The rule of Cartman.


 
Rules about food are made to be broken, especially if you feel like it and it's convenient to do so.